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Services To Parents In Islam

- Published in Muslim World league On November 2016

Services to Parents in Islam by Ahmad Wahaj Al-Siddiqi Al-Taimi

  Legal adviser published in Muslim World League Journal Niovember                  

2016

       Before entering into the details of services to Parents in Islam, it is essential to see what European civilization holds about the services to parents. We find that in 20th century, the European countries have done away the family links. The family ties remain when the children are being brought up by their mothers.  The European civilization has given birth to hundreds of thousands unmarried mothers. Hence their children have no parental links.  When they grew up they are far beyond to have any family.

   In European countries and in the United States, young adults normally abandon their parents and live on their own. The Mother’s Day and Father’s Day are celebrated as a matter of convention. These Days do not promote  any family ties.

   But Islam orders to give respect even to non-Muslim parents. Allah (God the Unique) in His Book the Quran said: Associate with them in the life courteously. (31/15) But no obedience is allowed if they ask you to oppose the commandment of the  Creator: But if they strife with thee to seek partners with Me (God) of which thou hast no knowledge then obey them not. (31/15) Instead you invite them to faith in Islam politely, similarly, if they are dissolute, call them submissively and meekly to good deeds. The aforesaid teachings of the Apostle Allah (peace be upon him)  lead us to very strong family ties even with non-Muslim parents having no way to separation.    

   Allah has favored His bondmen with uncountable favors. He blessed mankind with dutiful parents. They willingly undertake all sorts of troubles in bringing up their children. They take pains in maintaining their health and education and they sacrifice everything for the good of their children. It is therefore, that Allah directed to be highly respectful to them.  

 

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   He said: And your Lord hath decreed that you worship none but Him. And you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life: Say not fie unto them, nor repulse them but speak unto them a gracious word. And lower unto them the wings of submission, and say my Lord have mercy on them as they did bring me up when I was small. (Quran-17/23,24)

   The aforesaid verse strictly forbids disobedience to the parents. Lower your eyes before them and never raise your voice over them. In Islam to deny obedience to parents is a major sin and not to be forgiven by Allah except when they forgive you. Allah the Merciful in His Holy Book the Quran commended to do good with the parents and laid emphasis on this virtuous act in various verses. Ibn Jarir elaborating the above verse said; Allah made it obligatory on this Ummah to deal with parents courteously, speak with them politely, lower unto them the wings of submission showing pity and clemency and pray for their good and stand for all search services, which God the Unique commended for them.

    Aesha the mother of the believers said: A man came to the Apostle of Allah (peace be upon him) with an old man, when asked who is he? He answered he is my father. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: Don’t walk in front of him, don’t call him by his name, and never abase him (Ibn Maradawiyya).

   Ibn Masud asked the Prophet (peace be upon him) about the most beloved deed  to God the Unique. He said the prayers at their times. I asked what next, he said to do good with parents. I asked what next, he said: Al-Jihad in the way of Allah. (Al-Bukhari and others)

    Abdullah bin Omer narrated, the Apostle of Allah (peace be upon him) said: Allah’s pleasure is in pleasing the parents. Allah’s indignation is in annoying the parents.(Al-Hakim, Al-Baihaqui)

     Allah ordering all men to serve their parents said: We have enjoined on man to be dutiful to his parents. His mother carried him with

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hardship and gave birth to him with hardship and his gestation and weaning is thirty months….’ (Quran-46/15)  It is a general order to all men to realize the troubles taken by their mother in pregnancy. Over and above the father and mother both take trouble in bearing up their children, in their treatment if they are sick, in their education, till they grow up and make them enable to work and earn living.  That is the reason Islam ordered to serve the parents when they grow old and require help in their day today life. Hence to serve them  is the greatest humanitarian act. For which the Prophet of Allah gave directives in various traditions some of them are mentioned here blow to win the pleasure of Allah.        

   Abu Hurairah said: A man came to the Prophet (peace be upon him)  and said: What do you order me? He said: Do good with your mother, do good with your mother , do good with your mother and fourth time he said: Behave nicely with your father. (Al-Bukhari, Muslim).

    He gave emphasis to behave with mothers very kindly and never do any act that may annoy them. In another famous tradition the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: Al-Jannah (the Heaven) is under the feet of mothers. Meaning if you serve your mother you will earn the pleasure of Allah  to make you  enter into the Heaven.     

   Abdullah bin Omer said: A man came to the Prophet to take the allegiance of pledge to go in the way of Allah leaving his parents crying. The Prophet told him to go back and make your parent happy as you left them crying. (Al-Bukhari, Al-Baihaqui).

   Abdullah bin Omer said: A man came to the Prophet (peace be upon him) seeking permission to strive in the path of Allah. The Prophet asked him have you parents. He said yes. He told him to strive in serving them.

(Agreed tradition)

    Abu Hurairah narrated, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: May his nose cleave to dust,  may his nose cleave to dust, may his nose cleave to dust. They asked O Apostle of Allah! Who is that? He said who found his

 

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parents or any one of them in their old age but he entered into the Hell-Fire. (Al-Bukhari, Muslim and Al-Baihaqui)   

    Maaz bin Anas narrated, the Prophet (peace be upon him) having said: Blessedness is for him who did good to his parent, and for that Allah prolonged his life. (Al-Bukhari, Al-Baihaqui, Al-Hakim).

     In a report of Al-Baihaqui from Anas the Aposlte of Allah (peace be upon him)said: Whoever likes that Allah my prolong his life and increase his sustenance he should do good with parents and maternal relations.

    Allah announced special reward who looked after their families and said: And they will approach one another  inquiring. Saying verily we were afore time anxious for our families. So Allah conferred favor on us and protected us  from the torment of the scorching Fire.

  (Quran-52/25-27)  Allah the Gracious , the Benign, the Merciful on the Muslim believers informs them that he will join their progeny in Jannah to delight and cool the eyes of their parents. He said: And those who believe and their progeny follow them in faith, We shall cause their progeny to join them. (Quran-52/21.)

     Abu Darada said: I heard the Prophet (peace be upon him) having said: The father isd midway gate to Heaven (Jannah), you protect that gate otherwise you lose it. (Abi Shaiba, Al-Hakim, Al-Baihaqui)

    Ibn Abbas narrated, the Apostle of Allah (peace be upon him) said: When a dutiful son glances mercifully towards his parents, on every such look Allah grants him the virtues of accepted Hajj. They said if he looks towards them hundred times. He said: Yes, Allah is Great and most Generous. (Al-Bihaqui)

     In a report of Al-Baihaqui Imme Ayman said: No doubt the Prophet (peace be upon him) advising men amongst his family: Don’t seek partners to God, He is Unique even you are tortured or burnt into fire obey your Lord and obey your parent even if they order you to relinquish everything do it. Don’t forsake your prayers deliberately. One who forsakes his prayers Allah is in no obligation for his safety. Never drink

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wine, it is the key of all evils. Guard against sin to avoid indignation of Allah. Don’t dispute with your kinsmen even if you are right. Don’t runaway while advancing (towards enemy) even if you see the people dying amidst you. You stay like a rock. Spend on your family members from your earnings and do not allow them to be disobedient and tell them to fear Allah the Mighty, the Gracious.

    Abu Useed Al-Sadi said: While we were sitting with the Prophet (peace be upon him), a man said O Apostle of Allah! Is there anything left to be done for the good of parent after their death? He said: yes four things:   

(a)             Pray for them, (b) to ask forgiveness for them, (c) to make good their promises and (d) to be generous with their friends, and be affectionate with their maternal relations. ( (Ahmad, Al-Bukhari and others).

   Abu Saeed Al-Khudri heard the Prophet (peace be upon him) having said: The disloyal to his Parent, the boy born out  of adultery, the habitual drunkard and boastful of his favors to others will not enter Jannah (the Heaven). ( Ibn Abi Shaiba, Al-Bukhari, Al-Hakim)

    Abu Hurairah narrated, the Apostle of Allah (peace be upon him) said: Three supplications are duly accepted. (a) Supplication of the father for his son, (b) the supplication of the one oppressed, (c) and the supplication of the traveler. (Al-Baihaqui)

     Abdullah bin Abbas (may Allah be pleased with them) the Apostle of Allah (peace be upon him) said: Anyone who becomes obedient to his father and mother two gates of Heaven are kept open for him, if he had only  one of them, then one gate of Heaven is opened for him. But if he  was disloyal to his father and mother, then two gates of the Hell are opened for him, if he had only one on them, then one gate of the Hell is opened for him. A man said if they (parents) oppressed, he said if they oppressed, even they oppressed. (Abi Sheba, Al-Baihaqui)

    Abu Huraira said: We were with the Apostle of Allah (peace be upon him) we happened to see a young man, we said: would that young man

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applied his youth in the way of Allah. The Prophet heard us and said: Only one who is killed in the way of Allah. (it is not so) Whoever strives in the service of his parents is in the way of Allah. And whoever serves his family is in the way of Allah, and whoever tries to maintain himself without the help of others is in the way of Allah. (Al-Baihaqui)

    The mother of the believers Aesha (may Allah be pleased with her) said: O Apostle of Allah! For whom the woman has greatest obligation. He said to her husband. She said: For whom the man has greatest obligation, he said to his mother. (Al-Hakim)

     Abu Hurairah narrated, the Apostle of Allah Al-Baihaqui) said: The nose of that man may cleave to dust, before whom I was mentioned and he did not pray on me (saying sallallah alaihi wasallam). The nose of that man may cleave to dust on whom the month of Ramadan past over and he could not achieve forgiveness. And the nose of that many may cleave to dust who found his parent in their old age and they did  not make him to enter in Jannah (the Heaven). (Al-Baihaqui).

     Moawiya bin Jahema narrated, that Jahema came to the Prophet and said: O Prophet of Allah! I want to fight in the way of Allah, so I came to seek your advice. He asked:  Have you a mother. Jahema said: Yes. Then you strive compulsorily in her service, the Jannah is under her feet. (Imam Ahmad)

     The Prophet (peace be upon him) did not hesitate to say that the formidable sins are to see partners with God the Unique and to disobey the parents. (Al-Tirmizi) He also said service to them and an affectionate glance at them is in fact tantamount to worship. Their agreement with their children invokes the pleasure of Allah, and their displeasure invokes the indignation of Allah. They are the source of their entry into Jannah (the Heaven) as the Prophet (peace be upon him) said the father is midway to Heaven and the Heaven is under the feet of mother.

     Allah said: And behave with kindness your parents and kindred and orphans and the needy and speak kindly to mankind. (Quran-2/83)

   From the above verse it is evident that the service to parents has greatness in itself but perfection of the family ties can be achieved with harmonious relations with other kindred as they are inseparable part  of the family life. Arab have traditionally regarded their ancestors broadening the family cycle. The relations are by blood or by marriage. Thus the parents are tied with each other’s family. For this reason the rights  of the paternal or maternal relations are linked with  fathers and mothers invoking good behavior with all.

    Abd-al-Rahman bin Oaf heard the Prophet saying: Allah said: I am Al-Rahman (Most merciful) and created Al-Rahem =(Womb referring to the maternal relations or mother’s family) I have derived this name from My name whosoever maintain close relations with them, I will keep him close to My Mercy who severs relations with them, I will severe him from My Mercy. (Al-Tirmizi, Al-Hakim, Al-Baihaqui)

    In another report from Abu Hurairah, the Prophet of Allah informed: Allah said: I am Al-Rahman, (the Merciful) and it Rahem (the womb, referring to maternal relations or mother’s family) whosoever keeps good relations with them, I will keep him close to Me. And whosoever breaks away with them, I will severe him from My Mercy. (Al-Baihaqi)

      

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

- By Ahmad Wahaj Al Siddiqui AlTaimi